Hustling down a wooded path along the Mae Lang river, we’re hoping to find the mouth of the Tham Lod cave before it’s too dark. Half an hour earlier we’d arrived by motorbike taxi to our teak bungalow in the woods after a 4-hour van ride on one of the curviest roads in the world, which from a map looks like a scrunched up worm stretching from the city of Chiang Mai to the rural district of Pang Mapha to the northwest, where we now found ourselves about 12 miles south of the Myanmar border. As quickly as possible we checked into our hut, transferred a change of clothes into a backpack, and spent a moment doing the best we could to primp. As she braided her hair and fashioned for herself a headdress using purple flowers she purchased from a market that morning, I walked out to our balcony, from where I could see the river poking through the trees, and composed photos of our rings using a bunch of the remaining flowers.
After a half-mile of hiking, wondering if we’re headed in the right direction, we arrive at the mouth of the cave and quickly pick the spot where we’ve decided to have our “ceremony,” a term we are using loosely as we’ve forgone having an officiant or any witnesses. This is fine though, as Thai law requires no ceremony to consider a wedding legal. The actual act of marriage is performed in a sparse administrative office in one of the major cities, a lengthy process we had initiated before this leg of the trip and would complete after returning. Before beginning, we take turns changing into our wedding outfits in a nearby, dark recess of the cave, in case any visitors should happen upon us. Hers is a beautiful, flowing white summer dress and sandals she’d picked out for the occasion. Mine, a blue shirt and grey shorts. I had pants too, but it was too hot and she gave me permission to stay in my shorts so I wouldn’t look like a wet rag for the pictures. Few words are spoken. We take out our rings, and I begin to joke “With this ring, I thee wed.” She stops me there. Short and sweet, we both say “I do,” and place the rings on each other’s fingers before sealing the deal with a kiss. We spend the next 20 minutes taking photos and amongst the stalagmites and stalactites and upon some bamboo rafts anchored in the river before a heavy rain begins to fall. Fortunately, it only lasts 10 minutes, freeing us to return home from the cave before nightfall.
That was it. April 29th, 2015. We were married. Well, almost. The legal side of the equation turned out to be much more complicated than we’d read beforehand, and an itinerary that kept us on the go combined with a couple federal holidays kept our legal marriage in limbo until the very last day of our trip. We managed to get it done though, signing the papers and having the official documents stamped and translated back to English with about 12 hours to spare before flying home from Bangkok. It was a relief to finally get it done and to know that we weren’t going to have to lie to people for the rest of our lives about how we got married in Thailand, when in reality we’d done it in an LA courthouse.
The next day, on the first full day of our married lives, we found ourselves in another cave. This time for seven hours. We had signed up for an expedition through a little-explored cave about 45 minutes from our base and were accompanied by a small group consisting of four Spaniards, two Chinese women, another American woman and two local guides. It was especially exciting that our timing allowed us to access this particular cave, which is flooded all but two months of the year. We had little idea when we entered exactly how long we’d be down there, but all but the last two hours were totally worth it. Illuminated only by our headlamps, the cave was phenomenal. It felt like an alien world. Huge limestone formations of various colors hung from the ceiling and cascaded down walls appearing glasslike and slick, though they were actually coarse to the touch. Stretching back 4 km and sometimes as high as 100 meters or more, it was hard to fathom that so much beauty has been sitting there unseen until recent years. Although it wasn’t flooded, there was still significant water running through it, so that much of the time we were wading and occasionally had to swim in water over our heads. We proceeded in a single-file line, constantly communicating to the person behind us the location of underwater rocks so we wouldn’t trip on them or slam our shins. Despite this system, I’m sure I’m not the only one who emerged with bruised, cut up ankles. With the amount of time we spent in the water, I was glad in hindsight that none of us spotted the 5-foot long racer snake — or any other creatures aside from a few bats — until we were nearly exiting the cave. Those particular snakes are harmless, but still … The cave also provided welcome relief from the heat after having spent over a week hiking around the sweltering cities. Like anything though, too much of a good thing can wear on you. After about 4-5 hours we were all growing weary and were starting to shiver. Cold, wet and exhausted from the amount of focus it took to move forward through the water without hitting rocks, we were ready to be done. We still had a long way to go, but we made it, emerging from the cave as the sun was setting. From there we hiked 45 minutes back up a hill, stopped to admire the rolling wooded landscape in the last light of the day, and piled in the back of the truck for the 45-minute drive back to the lodge. We ate a late dinner of curried rice and crashed into our beds.
The next day, aching from yesterday’s outing, we returned to Chiang Mai. We had spent one day there before going to the caves and were there two more days after, but we wished the ratios had been reversed. While the city was historically interesting, the bulk of the economy catered to the large number of tourists and expats there. Signs advertising elephant rides and tiger petting zoos abounded, and at one point we looked up and realized the street we were walking on was populated only by western couples. Long story short, the authentic experience we had in Bangkok was not as readily found here, at least not within the walls of the old city. That said, it’s a great walking town with a few good markets and lots of history, including 300 temples. We peaked into a few of the smaller ones and made the trip up the Doi Suthep hill to Wat Prathat Doi Suthep, an incredible, gold-adorned temple looking out over the city from the west that dates back to 1383. Our timing coincided with some ongoing renovations and Erinn took the time to sign our names on the back of a tile that would be incorporated into the new facade, something we were invited to do with a small donation. We also found plenty of great street food and feasted on bowls the northern noodle bowl specialty Khao Soi more than once.
While there, we also paid a visit to the U.S. Embassy to begin the legal marriage process we had intended to start in Bangkok. The first steps were easy, which included going to the Embassy to affirm our freedom to marry, i.e., declare that we are both of age and neither of us is already married, and then have that document translated to Thai and legalized at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. The latter steps were taken care of by a service while we went north to the caves and were ready for us when we returned. The next step was to go to a district office, or Amphur, to actually get married, which we hoped to do in Krabi. Of course, it wouldn’t be so simple.
Overall, Chiang Mai was worth the visit, but we were ready to head south by the time we left for the airport. Next stop, the island of Koh Jum.
Congratulations! Loved your story and your incredible photos.